Apr 24, 2020
Today’s episode was supposed to be about the Ritz Carlton’s
awesome customer experience - but over the last week or so -
friends, colleagues, acquaintances - simply - just people - have
been asking me
“How do you deal with this lock-down”? You seem so
content - not worried at all?
That got me thinking… - because I
very well know what it means to be worried - worried for my
life.
On the 29 September 2015, just three days before my wedding
to Kevin, we were told by a very competent surgeon and an ever so
lovely MacMillan Nurse that I had stage 3 bowel cancer -
potentially stage 4 - as there was also a growth on the liver. I
was given a survival rate of about 30% if it was only stage 3 -
significantly lower if it turned out to be stage 4.
Was I worried - I was mortified! Not prepared at all! I had none of
the typical symptoms, I only went to see my doctor because I
couldn’t shake off a viral infection I caught earlier in the year.
I was at the height of my career, a carefully built career, loved
my job, had a beautiful family and a soon to be husband. I had it
all, things went well - I lived a wonderful life. I considered
myself privileged. Within the space of 5 min - all of that counted
for nothing anymore
I’ve always had a positive outlook to life - and what’s happening
in the world. On our family table politics was a permanent topic,
but also religion and faith. My dad was a minister in the
protestant church of Switzerland - and no doubt his life and how we
practiced his strong faith influenced my thinking and my attitude
to life and death.
Whilst there was an initial shock - I remember
asking my fiancee whether he still wanted to marry me, after all he
could be a widower in no time - I pretty quickly fell on my two
feet...
I manage my cancer journey using a project plan! And made
evidence based decisions in relation to my treatment.
A good
project plan has got one end goal - mine was survival. With a
number of milestones - usually different milestones per workstream.
My workstreams were simple: medical treatments and sport /
fitness.
My milestones became chemo sessions attended and daily
steps taken using a step counter.
For my chemo sessions - every week one or two days before the
Friday I sent all the observations of the last round to my
oncologist - so that she could make “evidence based” decisions. My
3-weekly blood tests, my experience with the drugs throughout the
cycle and my weight were the evidence for decision making on
the treatment plan.
My steps (starting with 2500 steps at the
start of the chemo cycle - going up to 5000 towards the end of the
chemocycle) provided evidence of fitness level and mental
health.
Now - at no point did I actually know what was going to
happen next. I simply couldn’t know!
I couldn’t expect life to be
predictable or fair for that matter during my illness. There was
also no point to pretend everything was fine, or telling myself a
feel-good lie.
All I could do was to embrace the uncertainty of
this whole life-or-death deal. And as I did that - some weird
clarity started to surface! There is a humility that comes with
realising that you're not the glorious plans you made for your
life! - And here is where my faith came in. I never knew that
I still had it! I was busy, working hard, chasing goals, promotions
etc. Yet - in my cancer journey it surfaced, quietly but steadily.
And it has stayed with me ever since!!
So lets put this into
perspective today
1. Making a plan is still the best way to move
forward. It may or may not materialise. But if you don’t have a
plan, you can’t be held accountable! No accountability means your
progress is much slower or isn’t happening at all! And - if you
change things - you don’t know why you changed or what you changed
- because there was no plan in the first place.
2. Keeping your fitness up is absolutely paramount! It breaks my
heart to read statistics about children having gained weight
because of the lockdown - they didn’t get enough exercise. Or
adults seriously suffering from depression because they didn’t get
out, or joined a fitness class online etc.
3. Be kind to yourself and to others - do not pretend all is well
if it’s not. None of us can be up-beat and positive all the time! I
know we see this on social media. Everyone seems to be doing so
great. Learning new things, enjoying downtime, etc. Guys - if you
are honest with yourself - you know that this is not true. Be kind
to yourself - you are not Superman or Superwoman!
I recently read an article by David Brooks, a columnist with the
NY Times called - “Screw this Virus” - it so eloquently
refers to how we could deal with today’s situation.
There is a link below.
Stay Safe!
New York Times Coronavirus Article: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/19/opinion/coronavirus-isolation.html?smid=em-share
Our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/582396082326472/?source_id=1807833562816621
My Podcast is produced by: https://www.unavoided.com